"Don’t ever start a fight, but you can’t walk away from one either…."

My four year old grandson just got into his first scuffle. He was at the water park when his mother observed him in a tussle with another boy. Apparently the boy came up to him and informed him that he was about to get scratched, which he proceeded to do, right across my grandson's chest. He in turn defended himself by pushing the boy away which led to fisticuffs.

I told my daughter, "Be careful how you handle this; it will impact him later on in life should he ever be in a similar situation." My wise daughter was way ahead of me. She and her husband had a plan to help him deal with this. They made sure that he knew that they understood his position and why he had to defend himself. They were not upset at him for that. They also made sure to discuss alternatives with him.

I found myself thinking back to the wise words my father had bestowed upon my brothers. He told them not to ever start a fight, but of course, men being men, you can't exactly walk away from one either. He also discussed alternatives with them.

My grandson's parent's alternative was similar to what my father had told my brothers years before. "Defend yourself intelligently." His belief was that a person who opens his/her mouth and starts spewing out profane or derogatory remarks has already lost the fight; he looks ignorant. That said, he told them "Mejor un loco y no dos." translated, better one fool than two. There are times when the best thing to do is walk away.

Though I never had any boys, I still applied by father's philosophy. Once my daughters reached middle school, I was worried that someday someone would come up to them and try to goad them into an altercation, be it verbal or physical. I passed on my Dad's philosophy; if that day should come simply walk away. "Mejor un loco y no dos."

Pass it on :)